Eat Drink & Be Mary: DEAR GIRL ABOUT TO ENTER A LDR...

6.24.2015

DEAR GIRL ABOUT TO ENTER A LDR...

This Saturday Thomas and I will have been dating for T H R E E years.  I can hardly believe it.  Part of me feels like we just started dating yesterday, and the other part of me feels like I've known him all my life.  I got lucky with this one, and even luckier that before I know it three years will turn into 30 years.  Forever with this man will be the best.  




So in honor of our 3 year anniversary coming up & our long distance relationship coming to an end.  I'm writing a note to myself almost two years ago, at the beginning of our long distance.  A note to the girl about to get into a LDR.  The girl who had a lot to learn about LDR and herself.  






I know it can be frightening to think of entering a long distance relationship.  It will be a lot of work.  It'll test your patience.  It'll take all your strength away some days.  Long distance relationships are hard.  Really hard.  And the require a lot of hard work.  BUT the end result is totally worth it.

You will start living for the weekends, and road trips will become simply a habit.  2 hour drives will seem like nothing, because you're used to driving 4 hours (each way) in a weekend, almost once a month.  

You will have to learn to communicate with your other half.  They are no longer there to read your facial expressions and text messages can be taken the wrong way.  Learn to explain yourself, to call each other often and to talk out your differences rather than yelling and not solving any problems.




Looking at other couples will make you sick.  It's as if they're rubbing it in your face that they're together while your other half is hundreds of miles away.  It'll make you jealous and sad.  But don't take it out on them, it's not their fault.  Remember I said a long distance relationship is hard

You will learn a lot of things.  Like when people question if a long distance relationship can even work, or just flat out tell you that they never do.  You will learn to ignore them because they don't understand.  Forgive them, it's not they're fault they've never been through this. 




There will be sleepless nights and crying out of no where because you just miss him so much.  Intense feelings of emptiness after you go your separate ways because once again you have to be on your own.  But take heart sweet girl, it is worth it.  For all those nights spent crying, there will be phone calls filled with laughter.  And day after day of falling in love all over again for the man that stole your heart with "hello", miles away.




Because a long distance relationship is not just full of negatives.  Believe it or not there are some positives of being in an LDR, too.  This relationship will help you learn to be patient; it will help you depend on your other half for support and strength.  It will help you learn to communicate with him and thus build an even strong relationship than before.  And even more important than that, it'll help you grow in your relationship with Christ.  Learning to depend on Him and His word; relying on prayer to give you strength and calm your anxiety.  




Being long distance will help you appreciate the time you have together and build up an anticipation for the moment when you no longer have to say "goodbye" only "goodnight."  

And lucky for you, just like the first year and a half (spent together in college, maybe 5 miles away from each other) flew by, the second year and a half spent in a long distance relationship will fly by just as fast.  Before you know it you'll be planning the best day of your life (your wedding), and the long distance will be over.  You'll be the MRS to his MR, and you'd never take back the time you spent apart because it's lead you to where you are now -- 38 days away from becoming his bride.  38 days away from a lifetime full of love and laughter.  38 days from being the happiest girl in the world. 




So trust me when I say, I know it'll be hard BUT it will be worth it.  So so worth it.

Love,
a success story, aka: the bride-to-be


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linking up today with Wedding Wednesday.

Were you ever in a LDR?  What advice would you give to someone 
in a long distance relationship?

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26 comments:

  1. Loved this! My hubby and I were in a long distance relationship but boy was it worth it! I completely agree on the seeing couples makes you sick. It would always frustrate me ha.

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  2. Oh, Mary, you know this means a lot to me! You wrote this letter PERFECTLY. I couldn't have said it better myself. Yes, it will be so worth it. And yes, you will both learn so many things in the process. Brilliantly written. I'm about to end my LDR with Wade this Friday, with a wedding to plan together in the future. And I'm so excited for your upcoming wedding day and the many years you have to come living WITH your man! Happy 3 years!

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  3. Before we got married, my husband and I lived 45 minutes apart. It wasn't as far as your typical LDR but we were only able to see each other on weekends due to busy work schedules. I wod cry and cry when we had to leave each other. My best advice is that if you're both willing to work hard to make it work, it will. Just keep at it!

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  4. So precious! I am so proud of you making it past the rough times!

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  5. How funny, I have a Thomas too, and we spent the first year of our relationship in an LDR. We hit 3 years back in May! Congrats to you two, LDR's are no easy thing!

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  6. Every word you wrote is so so so true! Chris and I were in a LDR before we got married and it was so hard but totally worth it!

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  7. Such a sweet post!
    Kelsey
    www.thepeacockroost.com

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  8. Did you write this blog post for me?! I'm currently "talking" to a guy who lives 12 hours away. He has plans to come up for the 4th, and depending on how it goes, I might or might not be taken in a few weeks! I love your LDR advice, and I'll be sure to email you for more of it ;)

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  9. Awww! What a sweet and thoughtful post. I have several friends that were in long distance relationships, and are now married to their other half. They all say it was difficult, but worth it in the end. You must really learn a lot about someone, and you need to have endless trust. I'm so glad it's nearing the end for you!

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  10. This is great. My husband and I were in a LDR. We met in Chicago, and dated for a year before I had to move to Virginia, then Rhode Island, then Florida for the Navy. All those moves in one year. Then in the third year, I deployed for 10 months. He stayed with me, even with all that nonsense. I flew him out to a port visit, and he was there with flowers in hand on the pier to welcome me home. We got engaged about a year after my return. He was saving money for the perfect ring. We have been together for 5 years, married for 6 months, and can't wait to start a family together. Advice would be to never, ever forget who you are, and why you are making the sacrifice. I set an alarm on my phone to go off every two weeks. It said "Do something". Just do something nice for him. Whether it was a note in the mail, or a nice email, or a tiny gift like a tee shirt from his favorite sports team. Just something so he knows I love him and care. Best of luck to you and yours as you embark on an amazing journey!

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  11. Such an awesome post! My husband was living in North Carolina and I was living in Vermont when we first started talking. We had gone to high school together, but weren't friends in any way so it was pretty much the first time we had ever spoken to one another. He first messaged me April 2011. We hit it off, but drifted apart after a few months. We then reconnected in June 2013 and fell in love instantly. He was in the military (still is) and couldn't come to Vermont to see me without taking leave (vacation days). So July 17, 2013, I packed a bag and drove the 15 hours to North Carolina to see him. It was absolutely terrifying, but the best choice I've ever made. It sucked when I had to say goodbye and drive back home. I drove down a couple months later (October) and we eloped. I said to say goodbye again though because I still didn't have the money to move to be with him. But that December, I packed up everything I could fit into my car and made the move. We've now been married almost 2 years :) Every minute of our distance was worth it. Even now half our relationship consists of distance because of deployments, trainings, and crappy work schedules. But it's really taught me patience and to enjoy every moment we have together. The time apart will always be worth it. :)

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  12. Your wedding is so soon!! I have so much respect for you being able to be long distance. Michael and I were kind of long distance for a few months after he transferred schools.. but we weren't even brave enough to try it so we weren't technically dating, even though I was driving 4 hours to Atlanta every other weekend. Then after 3 months I just ended up moving there haha. Obviously, it all turned out perfectly =)

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  13. Awwww you definitely are a success story!! This is a great post and I need to share it with one of my best friends who just entered an LDR a few months ago.

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  14. You are absolutely right! TC and I were in a LDR before getting engaged and it was hard but it was absolute worth every mile, every tear that was shed, and every phone call that was spent explaining how much you missed each other. It strengthened our relationship and taught us so much about each other. You're so close! Xo, Stephanie

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  15. I love your advice Megan. It is so important to not forget WHY you are doing it. It just puts everything into perspective, and makes all the waiting and tough times worth it. Your "do something" alarm is genius! I did my best to do random things throughout the LDR, but I wish I would've thought of that. I love reading about couples stories that have made it work, and yours is something else! Congrats on 6 months of marriage. :)

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  16. I definitely think it forces the relationship to become stronger when you are miles apart. Once we got engaged it has been much easier because I've been busy planning, and we finally had an end date to all this long distance. So close I can hardly stand it!! :)

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  17. Thanks girl. Definitely share it with her. It's always good to read encouraging words, especially when there are a lot of people out there who will try to discourage you from being in a long distance relationship.

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  18. Jacquelyn, it's crazy soon! It's super difficult, but it helped that we had dated beforehand. And of course now with all the wedding planning it has gone by pretty fast. Thomas lives 4 hours away too, and it's tough but totally doable. I'd say yours turned out pretty perfectly indeed.


    ps. I love seeing baby girl grow, so adorable!

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  19. Keating what a sweet story. I love reading other's LDR stories, makes me that much more excited and encouraged. I totally admire you for driving 15 hours; I don't know if I could make that drive alone. I agree, the time apart is always more than worth it. Congrats on 2 years. :)

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  20. Sounds so cliche, but there really is no better way to describe the time apart other than "difficult, but worth it." I can't believe we're so close to it ending, and I can't wait!! :)

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  21. One of my favorite things has been connecting with other women in a LDR Bailey, so welcome to the club. It's a club none of us want to be in, yet we wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so happy you found this post and the perfect time. And I hope it helps you throughout your relationship. It is so so tough, but with your man supporting you, and you both leaning on God you will do just fine.


    Since I have taken forever to respond to this email, I am so happy that you are officially taken. Y'all look very happy over the 4th and I couldn't be more happy for you. I admire you being with someone so far away. I'll be praying for you. :)

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  22. Exactly, it's almost too difficult to explain to someone who isn't in a LDR (or hasn't been). I can't wait to be married and have all of this behind us. :)

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  23. Thomas is a good name. ;) Definitely not easy Tiffani, but luckily we're ending all this distance in a week!! Congrats on 3 years!!

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  24. Thanks Shane. It's so difficult, but once we're married and living together (finally!) it'll all be a faint memory, and obviously so worth it! Glad you enjoyed the post. :)

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  25. I can't believe you guys are finally living together, and that Thomas and I will be in a week! Thanks so much for all of your support during this tough time. We may have never met, but I know that you understood everything I was going through! I look forward to following along with you and Wade as you plan your wedding, and can't wait to see how everything turns out! :)

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  26. Haha, those other couples just don't get it! 100% worth it. :)

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It makes me so happy each time you leave a comment. I love connecting with my readers! Happy blogging friends.

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