Eat Drink & Be Mary: 9 Wedding Traditions We Are Skipping

5.13.2015

9 Wedding Traditions We Are Skipping

It's Wedding Wednesday, y'all!  And about time I showed my face around these parts again.  

With the weekends getting so busy it has proven difficult for me to get out posts on Mondays/Tuesdays.  I start to feel guilty about it...but I don't wanna miss out on all the family time on the weekends either.  But you knew I couldn't miss today right ;).  I plan on doing better in the future though.

Anyways, back on track....the wedding talk of the day?  Traditions.  

Traditions.  The wedding traditions we are honoring and the ones we're simply skipping out on.  I've been reading a lot lately about wedding traditions.  I find it really interesting to see traditions that others include (or don't), cultural traditions & new twists on these traditions.  What traditions did you not keep at your wedding?








FIRST LOOK. We aren't waiting until the walk down the aisle to see each other.  We will be doing a first look, and surprisingly Thomas was right on board as soon as I mentioned it.  [I plan on doing a post on this in the future.]


RECEIVING LINE.  I don't like the thought of this.  I'd rather just come by and talk to each person without the pressure of the line taking to long or something.  


NO BIRD SEED.  When we exit the ceremony as husband and wife (eek!) our guest will not be throwing bird seed, rice or anything else in fact.  Instead, when we leave the reception we will have a sparkler exit.  My fiance loves fireworks of all kinds (as in goes all out buying the real big ones for 4th of July and NYE), not to mention what a perfect photo opp.  This sorta send off does seem to be becoming more popular lately though.


BRIDAL WALK.  I won't be walking down the aisle to your traditional bridal march song, Canon in D.  I don't wanna give away what song it will be, but let me tell ya it's a good one!  I knew as soon as I heard it that I had to walk down the aisle to it.


DESSERT BAR.  We will have a cake, but mainly just to cut it (keeping that tradition).  But the main attraction will be the dessert bar we're planning.  And if you've considered the idea, I highly recommend it.  It's such a great way to give guests lots of options to find something they like.  And who doesn't like bite-sized treats!?


CHOOSING SIDES.  It's traditional for the bride and groom's guest to sit on opposite sides.  Why? I'm not sure.  To represent which team you stand for?  Haha, that's just silly to me.  I'm all for people sitting wherever they want, not to mention it makes having ushers not a necessity.  


THE VENUE.  We aren't getting married in a church.  This actually has nothing to do with not being religious.  Thomas and I are both deep in our faith and love the Lord.  Buttt, in my head a church seems so dark and I want a bright, fresh feel and look to my wedding.  I know that probably sounds weird, but it's just what I'm wanting.  
FINE CHINA.  When it came to registering it seemed (after reading lots of registry check lists) that adding fine china to the registry was a must-have.  But in reality, Thomas and I will probably never use fine china, nor do we have the room for it.  So china was a no-go in our books.  


GUEST BOOK.  While we are having a guest book to remember all our friends and family that took the time to come to our wedding.  We aren't going with a normal guest book.  In fact, I made our guest book.  A little preview shall we...




Peace out tradition.  There are some new twists in town.  And as for those, and the rest of the traditions we're skipping out on you'll just have to wait (only 2.5 months...whattt!) until after the b i g day to see the results.  I can't wait to share these special details that will make up our special day.


What traditions do you think should always included?  What traditions did you skip out on?  Did you choose to not follow any of the traditions I mentioned above?
Other wedding posts: 
other wedding posts: 
15 bridal shower recipe ideas
beauty routine: for the bride-to-be
two month wedding check list
what to wear: to a bridal shower
four reasons to workout while planning a wedding
three month wedding checklist
bridal party attire inspiration
bridal shower inspo | pink & gold
"will you be my bridesmaid?"
DIY bridesmaid boxes
four month wedding checklist
engagement pictures
asking our flower girl & ring bearer
save the date ideas
our save the dates

 
 


53 comments:

  1. This is an awesome article to have about your wedding plans! Wade and I are doing a first look as well. I think it relieves some of the tension and stress you may have for seeing each other. Plus you both get some precious alone time on your big day when you're already going to be spending lots of time with family and friends later.

    No receiving line for us either, I think it's strange! And I have only been to one wedding in my life that had one. No bird seed for us...but possibly sprinkles? What can I say, it's the food blogger in me. Ha! I like your sparkler idea! We are having a wedding cake for the traditional cake cutting (it will be a naked cake) but I want a pie bar. I LOVE pie!

    We are getting married outside, so not in a church! I knew from a little girl that I had to get married outside, the outdoors means so much to me and Wade both. Plus our wedding is in May, so the weather SHOULD be gorgeous. Fingers crossed for no rain.

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  2. Definitely skipping the rice throwing. I kind of want to do the first look (as in before walking down the aisle), but my fiance isn't budging! *Sigh* And we're getting married in a Catholic church because his dad's a deacon so he can only officiate in a Catholic church. But anyway, the church we chose is apparently really strict so I can't walk down the aisle to the traditional song! It's sad because that's how I've pictured my wedding forever. They only allow Catholic songs.

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  3. YES! YES TO ALL OF THIS! The only thing we didn't do on this list is the dessert bar. Neither of us even like dessert so we got cake for our guests and then didn't even eat it after we cut it! I thought doing something on the most important, meaningful day of my life because it was "tradition" was so dumb! If that tradition is meaningful to you - go for it. But why waste your precious time if it doesn't?

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  4. I'm excluding all the same things and more so I hear ya sister. I may very well copy this post idea.

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  5. This fall will mark our five year wedding anniversary (whoa!) and I'll tell you that bucked a lot of traditions too! Many of which you named. We got married at 6pm and by the time we exited the church the lighting was perfect for an epic 'sparkler shot'! Your photographer may want to recreate it (we did it three times: live and twice with our wedding party), so be sure to buy plenty.

    We opted for an ice cream sundae bar instead of the traditional wedding cake. There was a groom's cake for those guests who were really jonesing for cake, but that night there was tons left!

    Probably my favorite non-traditional part of our wedding was the centerpieces at the reception. Every single one of them was different! Fall is my favorite time of year so I knew that I could incorporate the decor in our home for years to come!

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  6. Weddings are sooooo timeless and are supposed to be about the bride and groom so I think it's great y'all are making it yours. I personally have always wanted to just see my husband at the end of the aisle, that moment was magic, as I am sure your first look will be, too. I also always wanted to get married in a church and lucked out that my church is so bright [ you can check it out on my blog under love story]. Since I was little I wanted all of the pomp and circumstance of 'Here comes the Bride' on the organ and our pianist did it full up which was so amazing.

    We didn't do a receiving line and didn't have cake for everyone, either. We did a cake for us [and the head table] and then had cupcakes as our centerpieces at each table. I love cupcakes and it was sooooooooo much cheaper [we even were able to have DC CUPCAKES cater]. I love the tossing of the bouquet and garter traditions, even though people claim it's dated. It's so fun in my opinion.

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  7. I'm so glad we ditched the received line! They are so uncomfortable for everyone, especially since there are people at the wedding that either you or your spouse have never met because they're only acquainted on one side. One of the best compliments was that we took the time at the reception to go to every table to talk to people. We got to interact with everyone, instead of a quick hi, and down the line you go!

    I fell in love and registered for a Kate Spade China set -- and then a week later came to my senses. We'd never use it, it's so expensive when there are things we would rather receive and build our home with!

    Traditions are what you make them!

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  8. I love this post! I actually have a post scheduled in a few weeks with the traditions we are keeping/skipping. We are doing things very similarly, I am most excited for the First Look. I feel like I will need just a few minutes with Dave to just be us and chill out a little bit before everything begins. I can't believe you are only 2 and a half months away!!

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  9. We avoided these as well! We had a "guest book" but it wasn't a book. It was a print from Etsy with our last name spelled out and then everyone signed around it and we framed it. It's hanging in our living room.

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  10. Christina SotherdenMay 13, 2015 at 9:35 AM

    Love these!! We didn't do a receiving line and I was so happy - it's like your just rushing people along. And lady, we have fine china and haven't used it once yet :-/ It's nice to "have" but not super practical! Can't wait to see the final guest book - I love all the different things you can do with them these days!

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  11. My sister didn't have a receiving line or ushers at her wedding. So if you aren't getting married in a church, what type of venue will the wedding be held in?

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  12. We did a first look and those pictures are my absolute favorites. We loved them. We also had an unplanned receiving line. Trust me, I didn't want it, but it just sort of happened as we were waiting for the guests to get off the pier. We also didn't get married in a church and we had an untraditional guest book. Our ceremony was untraditional too, since we wrote it ourselves.

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  13. Lady...are we planning the same wedding?! We are skipping all the same stuff!

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  14. We're cutting a lot of these as well! We are having cupcakes instead of cake. We are doing a large picture frame instead of a guest book. We definitely didn't register for fine china, and aren't getting married in a church. We also decided to cut the bouquet toss and garter toss!

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  15. We cut many of the same traditions you mentioned. Another we eliminated was the bouquet/garter toss. I always hated it at weddings so we skipped it! The great thing about planning a wedding is the opportunity to make it yours :)

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  16. Love sparkler exists! They make the best pictures. Can't wait to see your guest book! And I agree on the church. That's the one thing I wish I had done differently but my parents just couldn't fathom the ceremony being anywhere other than our church. Dern 'ole traditions!

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  17. We skipped out on a lot of traditions like we saw each other before walking down the aisle, we freely mingled with folks at the reception, and I walked down the aisle to part of the song "Thousand Years." And we loved every minute of our day! We also did sparklers too! I honestly just didn't want to be fishing bird seeds out of my eyes lol!!

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  18. Pretty much had all the of the same non traditions! We did not get married in a church, I did not walk down to the bridal march, we used an Adirondack chair as a guestbook, we had no receiving line, we had a sparkler exit (no seed, etc), a sign to choose a seat not a side,...we did have cake and didn't do a first look (although I wanted to, husband was against it)! Exciting!

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  19. We aren't doing a lot of these traditions either! We are having a first look and that is what I am most excited about!!

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  20. Love the sparkler exit idea, we actually just left and didn't tell anyone so that people could keep partying on :) The reason we did a receiving line was it was nice to be able to see everyone at least once, because we have heard so many times that the bride and groom didn't get to eat because they were too busy walking around to see everyone at their tables. So I would suggest you have snacks ready to where ever you are spending your first night together, so in case you don't get to eat, you'll have something when you get to where you are going! :) Can't wait to see pictures from the actual day, so exciting!

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  21. if you don't do a receiving line to greet everywhere, make sure you two are able to sit & eat sometime together!! We didn't do a receiving line either. We tried to go around to speak with everywhere. We maybe ate two bites of food! Ahh. My poor husband was starving by the time the wedding was over, ha! At least maybe have a to go box packed for yall when you leave!

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  22. Me And My Mini MeMay 13, 2015 at 5:48 PM

    All this wedding talk is so exciting. I'm so happy for you and I think it's great that you are doing your wedding the way you see fit. Even if that means skipping a few wedding traditions.

    --Me and My Mini Me

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  23. I love your ideas! My husband and I skipped every tradition in the book haha I grew up with my dream wedding completely planned out and then I fell in love with my husband. He's in the military so we actually eloped after only 2 months of long distance dating. The only people who attended were two of his friends. We'll be celebrating our second wedding anniversary this fall and we wouldn't change a thing about our wedding day :)

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  24. I feel like I could have written the exact same post. :) Everything you mentioned here are traditions we didn't do either. Though I did want to register for fine china and my hubby convinced me that it was pointless so we didn't. Now we're about to get some from his grandfather that is pretty and even more meaningful. Not sure when/if we'll use it! :-p

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  25. YES! I love that you mentioned the bridal walk. I think the bridal march is SO antiquated. I still have no idea what we want to do for music.

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  26. I love that you're making the wedding about what you want instead of following every tradition just for the sake of it. The dessert bar sounds especially good to me!

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  27. I love this! Just about everything you mentioned, the husband and I didn't do. Instead of a cake, we had cake pops, and a topper, just for us. Our guest book was a huge wooden "M" that everyone signed and is hanging in our living room.

    But, uuuuugh the china! We didn't have a need for fine china or the necessity- we were handed down his grandmother's 50+ year old Limoges china and a lot of it (that we have yet to use). The wedding registry guy at BB&B had the audacity to tell me that they could do a match of it. We DID register for other place setting and silverware that we could and do use day to day.

    -Dorrie @ Bear Den Plantation

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  28. we had a dessert bar, too and loved it! we didn't have the traditional cake though. there was a dessert that came with the dinner so we didn't see the point of also having a cake cutting moment. the dessert bar was just extra :)
    I walked down the aisle to Moon River from Breakfast At Tiffany's. It was a dream come true <3
    xoxo,
    alysalovely.com

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  29. I love that weddings don't all have to be the same! We went with a dessert bar (and cake - we love sweets lol) and had guests choose any seat they wanted at our wedding. Thanks for linking up with us :)

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  30. We'll have both, and I love the variety a dessert bar offers. I've thought about the seating that was as well, but with a buffet I'm thinking it may be better to have assigned seats. But you're right, I love that we can all have different ways.

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  31. Too funny, Dorrie. Oh I love the cake pop idea as well..very unique and trendy. My best friend is doing an "H" for her guest book, and I love that you can use it in your house afterwards. It'll make a great keepsake. Oh my, with the China...

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  32. Kelli, I love to hear that. Some traditions are just worth skipping. At least you're still getting some China...hopefully you get to use it at least a couple times!

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  33. I love that you guys changed plans and don't regret a thing. That's the way it should be! Congrats on almost two years!!

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  34. I'll definitely have to sneak in some food somewhere in there, but prefer that over the awkwardness of a receiving line. Thanks for the tip!

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  35. Snacks will be a must, thanks for the tip! I'm pretty exciting about the sparkler idea, and can't wait to share with you all!

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  36. Me too Ashley. Not only will it calm our nerves, but we'll have a moment to ourselves on what I'm sure will be a crazy, busy day...AND we'll have pictures to capture the whole things to remember these precious memories.

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  37. Wow, crazy how many similar things we aren't doing. Some of these traditions seem to be disappearing.

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  38. Doesn't it feel like it? ;) Are y'all doing a first look? I can't wait to see how your big day turns out!!

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  39. I seriously can't wait for our first look. I just know the pictures will be some of my faves. I'm pretty sure when you posted about your first look was when I texted Thomas saying we should do it..luckily he was on board.


    To be honest I don't even know how a traditional ceremony goes, which is probably something I should look into, haha. I loved seeing your recaps of your wedding. It's amazing how each wedding can be different and unique.

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  40. We are getting married outside, and living in the moutains the background is simply beautiful (or maybe I'm just biased). ;) The reception will be in a barn though, and I couldn't be more ecstatic.

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  41. I hope y'all get the chance to use your fine china sine you did go ahead and get it. With all your entertaining I'm sure you will eventually. I think it's so awesome how unique each wedding can be.

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  42. That sounds like a really cute idea, and I love that it can be turned into decor for your house. Nothing like a momento to remember your wedding day by (as if you'd ever forget). ;)

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  43. Oh, I can't wait to see what y'all have decided. Yay for first looks. I seriously can't wait either. There are so many positives about it, and I can't even think of a negative. We are so stinkin' close I just can't stand it. And y'all are even closer -- can't wait to see the reveal.

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  44. I agree Shelby, it just sounds awkward and not something I want to be doing. We plan on going to each table, and squeezing in time to grab some food as well -- but we'll see. ;)

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  45. I'm headed over to check out your wedding pictures now. I am looking forward to the garter /bouquet toss as well. It seems fun to me, so I'm all in.

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  46. Happy almost five years! How exciting. I'll definitely have to grab up some extra sparklers, thanks for the tip! Your centerpieces sound so unique and I love that. I'm constantly searching for decor that we can reuse in our home as well. win-win.

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  47. I'd love to see your take on this post! Feel free to send me your link when you do.

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  48. Exactly, Rachel. It's your day and you should do what's important to you, NOT what tradition says you should.

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  49. I'm so sorry to hear about the song. :( But I'm sure there will be lots more happy memories of your wedding.

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  50. I'd love to hear more about your wedding Kaylin. I can't wait to see how your first look goes (even if it's a while from now). I love that it gives you time to yourself, because as soon as it starts I'm sure it'll be a big blur from there.


    Sprinkles would be such a cute, unique idea and so fitting for you. Love it! I've seen pictures of a "naked" cake, and think they're so cute. I've heard of pies at weddings lately.

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  51. I can't wait to see your wedding pictures. They are going to be fantastic, and first looks are my favorites. They are amazing, always. I don't really know what a traditional wedding is either. Most of the ones I have seen are not your typical wedding.

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  52. Thank you! :) I can't wait to see more of your wedding planning!

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It makes me so happy each time you leave a comment. I love connecting with my readers! Happy blogging friends.

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